Domestic Violence takes many forms ranging from physical or sexual violence to emotional abuse. The violence is usually used as an act of power to control another person. This type of abuse from a partner, ex-partner or family member is called domestic violence. Victims of domestic violence suffer in many ways. It could affect your health, housing, education, friends and family. Many men and women experience domestic violence without even realising it. Domestic violence can be any of the following:
kicking... slapping... spitting... punching... burning... telling you that you are ugly or stupid... stalking you... mocking you... sexual abuse... rape... not allowing you to work or socialise... telling you that you are a failure... telling lies about you... telling you what to wear and do... shouting at you
Anyone can experience domestic violence regardless of race, gender, sexuality, disability, wealth or lifestyle.
Everyone has the right to live their life free from fear, threats and abuse
Try to accept that domestic violence is not your fault. The person carrying out the violence will often say sorry for their actions and promise that it won't happen again. However, the domestic violence will probably continue until you leave, are seriously injured or killed. In some cases the person carrying out the violence blames the victim. If this is happening to you it will make it more difficult for you to leave. Please remember that you are not to blame, no-one deserves to be treated in this way.
If you do not feel ready to leave, you could contact one of the organisations mentioned for support and advice. Some people try to leave and find help a few times before they actually find the help that suits them. The time that a victim decides to leave is often the most dangerous, so always ask for help or let someone know what you are doing.
If you have decided to leave your family home you can come into any of the Council's local offices for help. You can choose to be seen by a housing officer of the same sex and if your first language is not English you can have an interpreter. Correspondence will be sent to another address rather than your own home, if you prefer.
The council will give you advice on:
Your situation will be dealt with in the strictest confidence. A drop-in service is held every week, where you can get advice and support on practical matters, such as contacting a solicitor, claiming benefits, etc. You can have a cup of coffee and an informal chat, or we can arrange to meet with you on a one-to-one basis at a location of your choice.
For more information contact Women's Aid on 01375 845899.
The person carrying out the domestic violence might tell you that if you leave or tell anyone, Social Services will take your children away. This is not true.
Social Services will not take children away for this reason. Children are victims of domestic violence, even if they are not being physically harmed. The effects of hearing and or seeing the violence or abuse can have a severe effect on a child's behaviour, health and performance at school. Children are more aware of the abuse than most parents think.
The domestic violence service can give you advice on how to protect your child(ren). Contact details for the domestic violence service and other agencies offering advice and support can be found on pages 8, 9, 10 and 11.
The Police can investigate a case of domestic violence and arrest and charge the person who has committed the crime. There are different laws and orders that are designed to protect you and any children involved. Below is a brief explanation of the orders that can protect you under the Family Law Act 1996.
When you leave, try to organise the following things to bring with you:
If you cannot organise these items or forget something, do not go back for it.
Try to leave at the safest possible time.
If you need support and more information before you leave your family home, contact one of the following (during 8:45 - 5:15 Monday to Thursday and 8:45 - 4:45 on Friday):
| Contact | Telephone |
|---|---|
| Thurrock Homelessness Team | 01375 652820 |
| Initial Response Team | 01375 652657 |
| Thurrock Housing Advice Service(Citizens Advice Bureau) - Free specialist advice for all housing issues that could result in you losing your home. | 01375 389532 |
| Thurrock Women's Aid Provides safe temporary accommodation, plus an outreach service and drop-in service | 01375 845899 |
| Age Concern (Thurrock) | 01708 864834 |
| South Essex Rape and Incest Crisis Centre (SERICC) | 01375 380609 |
| Open Door | 01375 389879 |
Domestic Violence is the abuse of power and the exercise of control by one person over another within a close relationship. This may include emotional or psychological abuse, physical violence, sexual violence, social isolation and/or financial control.
Anyone suffering domestic violence in Thurrock can contact 01375 413726 or 07887 534985 or contact Grays Police on 01375 391212:
There is a drop-in service, run jointly with the Housing Department, held every Wednesday morning between 10 am and 12 noon where women and children can get advice and support or you may want to join us for just a chat and a cup of tea or coffee.
We can advocate on women's behalf with regards to housing, benefits or solicitors,.and can provide support at meetings and at attendance in court.
There are also programmed groups set up for women and children who have suffered or witnessed domestic violence.
Domestic Violence - Information and Practical Advice for a Brighter Future (PDF 326.4kB)
NOTE: PDF document - please see how to access PDF files
The Thurrock Community Safety Partnership has published a directory that provides information and contact details of organisations offering support to victims of domestic violence:
